Hey, you. Yes, you. The woman with the newborn. More specifically, the one covering a spit-up stain on her shoulder with the cloth diaper while trying to pretend you had more than three hours of sleep the night before. I see you attempting to hold it all together, tightly wrapping what’s left of your sanity next to your baby’s sleeping face (where was that at 3am?).
You are nodding your head that you definitely (but not even a little bit) caught the last episode of whatever your friends are watching while simultaneously calculating how long it’s been since you had a proper shower (and how much longer you can go).
Isn’t motherhood wonderful?
Any experienced mother will tell you, in a variety of colorful language, that the first three to six months of a baby’s life is often the most challenging. You’ll struggle with your own expectations as you wade through the advice of a hundred well-meaning onlookers while trying to forge your own path, as every mother has done before you.
The Family Health Care of Siouxland team of doctors and nurses has some advice for you, too, and, while none of it may be new to you, it’s important enough to sneak into your daily routine. After all, your health and happiness have never been more important.
Get some rest.
This doesn’t always have to mean sleep, but it will at least require you to put your feet up for a bit (maybe at a nail salon while dad watches the baby). A newborn is mentally and physically fatiguing, so grab whatever reprieve you need to catch your breath. Of course, steady chunks of uninterrupted sleep are important, especially with helping increase milk supply, maintaining attentiveness, and minimizing the risk of postpartum depression.
We know that life—and laundry and dishes and messes—doesn’t stop when you have a baby, but if you have a choice between housework and resting, lie down.
Release comparisons.
It’s human nature to compare ourselves with everyone else, and it’s a much bigger pool where motherhood is concerned. Resist the urge to judge or compare yourself to others; you can’t possibly know their whole story. Even a mom who presents as perfect has worries and insecurities. Remember, despite what the media may want us to believe, motherhood is not a competition. It’s a badge of honor.
Your biggest asset here is to find your tribe; a group of moms you identify with who support you, laugh with you, cry with you, and let you know when your baby dribbles spit-up down your back.
Embrace ‘good enough’.
A newborn doubles the workload and halves the workforce. The only way to survive each day is to accept that some things will never get done without help, and what does get done may be just enough to get by. So ask for help, and take it as it comes. This means you’ll need to accept new ways of doing things (aka let your husband load the dishwasher, your older children make the bed, and your mother-in-law do laundry) and wave a slow goodbye to your high standards of the past. You’ll soon find that ‘good enough’ is better than you ever thought possible.
The best way to lower standards is to raise a white flag. It’s best if you tie it in on a broomstick and stick into a large pile of socks.
Drink up.
And we mean water. Lots of it. This is especially true for breastfeeding moms. Drinking enough water helps your body flush away toxins and ensures your little one gets only the best aspects of your breast milk. The woman’s body is designed to produce milk at the demand of the infant, even at the expense of the mother, so make sure you have plenty of hydration on tap. Drinking plenty of water also helps increase metabolism, energize muscles, and keeps skin glowing.
Need help getting more water? Set an alarm on your watch or your phone, and commit to drinking a cup every time it goes off. If you’re a coffee or tea drinker, alternate with a mug of hot water; you’ll get the benefits of the warmth plus that lovely hydration without the jitters.
Soak in.
You may have heard the expression, “the days are long, but the years fly by.” Nowhere is this truer than with your kids, who can be shrieking newborns in one minute and sweet-eyed kindergartners the next. Take pictures. Write things down. Share their story. If the only way you do this is through social media, so be it. It’s also a good idea to take a moment to write some “real” things to yourself; they will later serve as proof of how far you’ve come.
Motherhood is as wonderful as it is challenging, maddening, glorious, self-deprecating, humorous, and profound. Let it be all those things. And keep us posted.